Pumpkin Spice Latte, quadruple shot, thanks.

Yeah, so there’s no hiding it. I’m a product of 21st century capitalism, and I love sugar. I love ordering the infamous White Chocolate Latte at Starbucks, which offers a modern globalist health-conscious take on the world but offers drinks that are like heroine in the veins. I’m not complaining, but the paradox is funny. I hope I’m not losing anyone here.

I’m not sure why, but those Starbucks Frappuccino drinks you can buy at Target and gas stations always remind me of Harry Potter. I’ve never even read Harry Potter, and during high school I was against the whole craze. But now that I’ve grown up a little, I realize if your book is almost as popular as the Bible, that’s impressive and I will definitely get to reading your work at some point. Regardless, those bottled drinks are amazing. Talk about getting it right every time. That’s the thing I have to come clean and admit. Natural foods are great, and when you put love into a good piece of chicken, brussel sprouts and some sweet potatoes I can taste heaven. But processed foods? Like the Carmal Latte Frappuccino served in a bottle, same thing every time? That shit’s fire.

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