I haven’t written in awhile, because I was afraid of what I might say. Do you ever become aware of what you’re thinking and then get scared that you would ever think such a thing? But then you also realize that the thought is empowering?
The other day I was at this sports store in my neighborhood, which is a store I really love. It’s a big huge store warehouse size and it covers almost every sport known to man. One section you’re looking at snow skis, and the next you’re looking at Scuba equipment. As I was leaving I see this little girl, probably 4 or 5, staring at a TV screen which is set up to advertise GoPros. She’s watching jellyfish, moving so slowly suspended in the water like alien astronauts. And I don’t know why, but it really stuck with me. It reminded me of that image that I think we all have in our head in one way or another of the monk sitting in the middle of a busy city, meditating as everything rushes by him so fast. And there is nothing too special about this. I think we just awe at it because we understand it. We understand that’s it hard to find some peace. Lately it’s been hard to find for me. And it shakes your faith, because it makes you start forming different thoughts about what peace is. It really makes you question who God is, and it makes you question the people around you who say they are worshiping the same God as you but for some aching reason the picture doesn’t match the description. And if their God is the right God, then maybe I’m worshipping the wrong one. To be clear, I’m not even talking about how we should all treat each other nicely, and if you are acting outside of a kind heart then maybe you’re not worshipping God. I hate to admit it because for some reason it feels wrong, but it seems to me that all people are generally the same. Wether you’re part of a church or a gym, people are all doing the same things, but the language is different because the description of the goals are different. But when you chisel away the language and all of the icing on the cake, I feel like everybody is gonna look pretty much the same. So you have to ask yourself, who is God?
One thing that seems so clear to me now is that God is not small, and he doesn’t dream small or think small. So when I see people who believe in God living small lives I’m confused, and it makes me question God. When that little girl was looking at that screen of the jellyfish, I don’t think she was thinking small. When I look at the mountains and the sea, I don’t feel small. So why should I dream small? Why do we have this cookie cutter image of the life God wants for us, and why does the church seem to get behind this idea of a small life, lived comfortably and secure? A friend of mine told me that he grew up in the church, and when he was really young the church community around him had the idea for his life that he should get married young, buy a house and start his life. He’s a little older now, is still married and loves his wife, but is on a pursuit to shake off the shackles of what he was told. There is a longing in him to see the world, and I feel like for some reason we want to suffocate this. I don’t think it’s wrong for a man to want to explore, to want to dare, to stand on the edge of a cliff and dream about how to fly off. God does not belong to the people leading quiet lives. This can’t be. I don’t believe it. Unless someone tells her otherwise, that little girl is not going to believe it.
Keep the wonder, and let it grow.
Bob's Blog. 